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Dear Hubby,

Before I met you, I was worried about marrying someone my own age, because of how often I'd heard "You'll both grow up and you won't be the same person you were at 18, you'll grow apart." When I met you, I scoffed at this advice, thinking that because of the age difference, it would be ok. I thought surely, you were nearly in your 30s, you'd done your growing and that it would be fine.

One of the things I loved about you was your sense of humour and how readily you made me laugh. But we've been together almost 3 years now. I find your jokes pointless and repetitive, and nothing frustrates me more than your complete inability to pay attention to a serious conversation. When I'm trying to ask you about things which are important to our lives, and all you can respond with is either 'squirrel' or 'fish,' it frustrates me.

I used to think you were funny and spontaneous. Now I'm realizing you're just incredibly neurotic, and you've been heavily spoiled by the fact that you moved in with me only two months after moving out of your mother's house. I thought we wanted the same things, and now I am realizing that we have almost nothing in common anymore. You don't want any of the same things I want, and more than that, you can't even understand WHY I want them. And above that, you don't want to know.

You're selfish and you don't care that I'm unhappy. You say you care, but we've been married almost 2 years now and what effort have you made? What have you done to try to make me happy? Have you even noticed how unhappy I am? I've told you, repeatedly, exactly what I'm unhappy with and exactly what EASY things you could do to make a huge difference to my life. But that would mean trying, wouldn't it?

What really hurts me is that you're just so lazy about our relationship. You won't fight to save me. I bet if I tried to leave you'd just let me walk out the door. God knows that the times I've threatened to leave you haven't even seemed to care. How I feel now is a world away from how I felt 3 years ago, and I don't understand how this happened. All I can think of is that I've grown up, and you still haven't. I don't know why I'm still with you.

Love??
Your long-suffering wife

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
mellyjc
Dec. 7th, 2008 09:17 pm (UTC)
Hello, me.

I had a five hour conversation with mine last night. He changed the subject a few times as he does but it sounded like he started to understand, maybe enough to try and do something. We'll see.

Best of luck.
dragonrider7
Dec. 7th, 2008 09:19 pm (UTC)
Good luck to you.
frknrica
Dec. 7th, 2008 09:41 pm (UTC)
You're selfish and you don't care that I'm unhappy. You say you care, but we've been married almost 2 years now and what effort have you made? What have you done to try to make me happy? Have you even noticed how unhappy I am? I've told you, repeatedly, exactly what I'm unhappy with and exactly what EASY things you could do to make a huge difference to my life. But that would mean trying, wouldn't it?

i'm on 5 years of this. i don't know how much longer i can take it.
(Deleted comment)
dragonrider7
Dec. 8th, 2008 05:43 pm (UTC)
How on earth do you stick with it for that long???
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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